I wish I knew how to explain to everyone that I'm their side, That I'm going to try my hardest (even if it hurts me) to hurt them the least bit possible. I'm tired of explaining myself. Of giving all of my self that wont even give them self that much. I have relapsed into my doodling and reading: hiding from reality the best way i know how. Even as I produce and influence daily I still feel hollow and desperate for my own self approval. People keep telling me that "They know what I'm doing; you don't have to pretend to be happy". I never thought i was pretending before unless I was actually putting a conscious effort forth. Fuck, I was happy in foster care, even in the most tiniest of ways. So how could people assume im not happy now? do you think it's possible to be frustrated but ultimately happy at the same time? Why do people keep lying to me and themselves and the world? right in front of me? LIKE I CANT READ MOST EVERYONE LIKE A BOOK!!
and all of this would usual stay in my head but the hunger games book series is filling me with new belief in my own words ultimately empowering my action and myself....
You are about to experience a rebirth -- about to be given another chance, a new lease on life.
You have persevered, gone the distance through an entire cycle -- through the Spring of hope or new passion, through a Summer of growth and building, only to be sacrificed like the archetypal Harvest King at the Autumn reaping.
You lie dormant like seed beneath Winter snows now, healing and absorbing new energies in preparation for the new young Spring coming shortly to your life. |
