LIKE I CANT READ MOST EVERYONE LIKE A BOOK!!

I wish I knew how to explain to everyone that I'm their side, That I'm going to try my hardest (even if it hurts me) to hurt them the least bit possible. I'm tired of explaining myself. Of giving all of my self that wont even give them self that much. I have relapsed into my doodling and reading: hiding from reality the best way i know how. Even as I produce and influence daily I still feel hollow and desperate for my own self approval. People keep telling me that "They know what I'm doing; you don't have to pretend to be happy". I never thought i was pretending before unless I was actually putting a conscious effort forth. Fuck, I was happy in foster care, even in the most tiniest of ways. So how could people assume im not happy now? do you think it's possible to be frustrated but ultimately happy at the same time? Why do people keep lying to me and themselves and the world? right in front of me? LIKE I CANT READ MOST EVERYONE LIKE A BOOK!!

and all of this would usual stay in my head but the hunger games book series is filling me with new belief in my own words ultimately empowering my action and myself....

ichingonline.net

You are about to experience a rebirth -- about to be given another chance, a new lease on life.
You have persevered, gone the distance through an entire cycle -- through the Spring of hope or new passion, through a Summer of growth and building, only to be sacrificed like the archetypal Harvest King at the Autumn reaping.
You lie dormant like seed beneath Winter snows now, healing and absorbing new energies in preparation for the new young Spring coming shortly to your life.

(Not so) Daily Dabble: everyday I'm Shufflin!

This is in reponse to not-so-daily-dabble: hustle vs shuffle:

Young Mook and I

To make Mr. Manager happy: Young Mook and Rico!

fucking face book

(Not so) Daily Dabble: Searched

one, i want to start doing what I'm calling the (Not so) Daily Dabble: where i will rant muhahaha... welcome to the first edition :3

Two, TalKATive Talent is really taking off... If you haven't seen it i have a link up ^^THERE^^ click it. So far i have only done two pieces and one of them was free; Even though I'm handing out free art, people still aren't bitting!  I have to practically beg to let me do the art to begin with. (I still have artwork I made for An Artist that I'm pretty sure he doesn't want)

Three, Much like yesterday's post I am doing quite random of things because I haven't hacked Photoshop yet. There for, I have been wasting my time and downloading torrents that literally take hours to complete. Today I decided to network TalKATive Talent on FB's "Networked Blogs" (which is a pretty decent little App) and to search myself (and other people i know) on Google (and other search engines {yes the Google Qween uses other engines... =p}). I do this quite often because I have seen Google destroy people's opportunities... e.i. The Power of Google! Point being: I noticed something... For being a prime example of what demographers refer to the younger generations as: a "Content Creator", I still have little no hits when searched online =}=}=}=}=}

Lastly, my favorite find when i searched myself was this "Tag Cloud" box that i couldn't figure out ( much less want to) where it was getting its data but the only two words that were associated with myself where Katita and Eclipse. Not to mention the only other out of place thing i saw was OF COURSE The Pocono Record:{..I will be forever haunted (Assholes)

Babes to blog about...

So im sitting in a room where two one digit midgets {did you get it?} tell me that they have facebook... i went NOT_UH O.O... it really shouldn't be that surprising really. If AOL wasn't dial up when i was 9 fuck I would have had an AIM_NAME too..... but they topped themselves when they told me 1. they claim to be 26 years old and 2. they have a 4 YEAR OLD niece that is also connected...

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IN 2008 i wrote a 10 page research assignment that i can't remember what it was called for the life of me but, the point is the question i wished to answer was whether or not children are getting Lazier or Smarter because of technology... 10 Page paper, 15 sites sited, 2 books, and a youtube video.

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BEST PART it SURPASSED all my Predictions =} 

The out come wasn't either but it wasn't neither neither (pronounced in my mind as nither neether... lol)! It was both.... 

Because from either birth or a very early age (ever since GENERATION X) we where handed and taught to handle technological resources around us, so in return we have become lazy... or maybe we're smarter for mastering said resources? The monks of the first colleges would be out raged by Mass printed material in modern libraries just as the old farts today bitch about us being lazy... muhahahahah...

easy

I'm taking it easy for a bit. I have no energy and yesterday seemed liked the longest day ever.

my alarm clock everyday :D

http://youtu.be/f5kbBxv9XPo

MY FAVORITE

JOURNALISM AT ITS BEST!!!!!!!

Cynthia_Plaster_Caster


GO TO THIS SITE ITS AMAZING!!!!!

I HAVE STALKERS

i guess the reason my views have been slowly rising even though i havent been sharing my blog on facebook because i have a staklker. It has been confirmed.... it's like a secret mission. One of the stalkers got stalker B to friend me on FB and then block me but im cooler than that.... hahahha i feel famous....
They said (and this is from the little birdie that i heard it from) that its like being on a psychodelic ( idont know if i spelt that right?)

fb stalker

its so sad that i can not be myself and was accused of FB stalking... i know im fb happy but my life depends on it... i wanted to like a post and promised i wouldn't =[

Sorry Jordan

a Facebook Status started it All

so for anyone out there asking:
yeah, I'm struggling, juggling my life day to day. living it right from pay to pay. my play is work and I work to get paid. Don't wish to get laid. But im lonely and use the local sound to soothe me. How do i prove to myself that im not just some groupie. The more i put myself out there the less i feel my beauty. The more i love the music the less i love the person. The more i amend myself the more my world worsens. if i keep on in this shit my spirit will never find Emerson. i barely have time to breathe not to mention sleep. finally found a way out of negativity and the company i keep. i want to find my rightful place, for that i still seek. im living with the meek... and the dull. From all over the city i still need to haul. but i barely have the time so im beating on my skull. i need to see it all come together and fit into light. so i can escape my heart's dark hole. but It's seems that more than me my lovers play their part. what does the world care if everyday i produce them art? only few feel my mark, it's not like im making a million postcards. But hey what can i say. im not just dwindling away. Im proud of how sober i still stay while i keep my habits at bay. Funny part is this is all in response to "What's on your mind?". Then all of this dribble kept pouring out behind. and i couldn't find the right lines... to make it fit in the status box. and now i feel like I'm a chatter box. but this is the first time I triumphed over mental blocks despite all these stupid tick-tock clocks. and now the awaited aftershocks....

WTF

WTFfuckli(f)e2
romanicing NUTS & kissin SkREWS
MISSin bigger pictures, to glimpse see still frames inside you
Instead i haerd 1/2 but saw a "whole" clue
PAC-MAN dies due to a lust of ghosts &pills
MS_PAC steps-up our Lovely-legged Host
BUT ghost don't wear bows
BUT Bambii's a BOT cuz BlOOD boasts but never knows
Plenty of Fish, i Know but all i sea is me,
Lots of fishh hooks, yet Lonliness, I'm Luring the cure


it took me about two hours to hit the "show older posts" button to find this status. IN ATMOSPHERES SONG "TRYING TO FIND A BALANCE" the lyrics go:

Doesn't take much and that's messed up
Because these people do a lot of simple shit to impress us
While everyone was trying to out-do the last man
I was just a ghost trying to catch some Mrs. Pac-Man

so it reminded me of this status and I just had to read it again. The best part was october 21st and 22nd. They are funny as hell and are the single most posts i believe anyone can do in one day! enjoy!