I just want to succeed

Just found out -just now I'm still broke-n somehow

I buckled at the knees in dust sunken bow

Bound to honor something stronger feel that pow-

Er.. I'm the her in gentlemen only love I sent to them

Again I pray for the day so they will now that when

Bow to round roll tho I don't like to show a bend

Earth leaks laughs it's daft dull-y play pretend

Wish I was mended could condemn  what's in my head

Some reads what's red or in between instead

By and by Ill only lie or bow into bed

Cry that cry but I'm alive mine the cred

I just want to succeed 

I don't got the greed

I don't want to bleed

I'm so not a fiend 

I just need to feed me 

I just want to succeed 

I still see a loser when I'm looking in the mirror

I think I'm winning but what's won is not so clear

My innocence has kept me a darling dear

I can pretend not to be in startling fear

Success can't pass that test, I do my best

But just leave a mess, a scattered nest

A tattered bless- ing loving how I lose I am confess

-ing. That's my thing! 

Maybe I'm still flirting with my real life inside preteen

And the meaning of everything in her dreams

And dealing with her inner mean queen 

And before long you hear where have u been?

 " 

arsenalarsenio

Occupants in Tents!!

Occupants in Tents!!

A movement, A conundrum, under-come more than one nation. Now I'm undone from this expansive EX*PLA*NAN*DUM.... & I have none of an explanation! Strange to see a stranger spanging an estranged senator. Stranger still: willed a soul sleeps famed the store door still. That soul had goals now no more: once in reach there un-revealed -shunned -unwon -TAKE your hand the cards where already deal'd.

A Paradox as a pair of cops dare to watch as that sad soul gets mocked... ALOT...  NON_stop-O-clOcK... what have they forgot the power of their hidden gun shots. Comparable to hott shots  their comparison he's just human live stock.

In-Evit-Able the psycho-babble pilled high by the in-dell-iable Skeletal frame. What a SHAME, look so pure; what became of a no-name babe. Once so supple now suckles streets puddle. NOW he's Tucson's trouble? If'n this deadbeat you did greet.. meet.. Could your concerns consider his eat -his feet -his Defeat! Could you see more of him and less concrete. "DISGUSTING" can't you be discrete? How dogged are the downtrodden by the ubber elite? What? No charity... into incomplete tweets, mindlessly mistreat & repeat!

Congrats! to the cats who kindly killed camelot. Lost last when they forgot the last sir Lancelot. True-tried: the mass of tag-a-longs. True Leaders belong, wronged when over shot & the feelings they afford fixes an after forget-me-not. A Fucking Forced story believed then bleed in to our after thoughts.... 

I've never known a sword or stone or seen a fairy. Magic still minds me to the contrary. Consumed, moved, mazed/Influence wary! Proved that when truths viewed your view a Visionary. Trouble torn; trite tittle-tattle: a round battle not table. Perfect Circle: Pluperfect! Shared power is a Fable?

occupytucson

cupid and psyche 

• The Fisherman and the Jinni

  The Tale of Two Brothers
  
  

insance with that happiness within

there this once upon a time
where you where the only reason i could find
but why that i rhymned well you where totally blind
You thought for some reason i was pressing rewind
when really my ptroblems where yet in sideline
very real in my life in my mind
and the only sactuary i could find

laid brhind your frame
holding onto something
barley had it came
folded into my grin
and only you where to blame
for an insance with that happiness within

fix it what had already broke
and what is breaking; it was no joke
and you thought i was faking
in my shoes you'd never entertake in
silence i can't sleep at stake when
i would you you around after i awaken
but my sadness is not your sin


laid brhind your frame
holding onto something
barley had it came
folded into my grin
and only you where to blame
for an insance with that happiness within

Love Left to Last

 

Thoughts that taunt the 

nights we'd touch (in) mid dark...

Seriously seeking (while he would be spleeping) 

for something seemed a spark, Or rather

a rare flicker? Sex should simply

be simpler!

Impulse Induced: Indulgance

in an instant. Yet still I insist:

"could it be this quick?"

Start: Entrance/ In trance...

Again I'm in this dance.

Surely secured sustenance;

Gone away to this Lonliness.

Now all I have is Hope of a chance.

"Is this?"...oops... gone in a glance.

This second, your presense is 

present; Readily it's replaced

for a place in my past (as good

as steady) Please, teddy, a bit

longer. A tad stronger...

Learning a Love left to Last!

A game of tag and catchup.... (suesical)

   We're starting last to first.... PIMACOUNTY MAPGUIDE MAP.... if like me you want to know where your turds go, who cleans the plumping and your pay pays the bill in tucson now you can do it at the convience of seneroy killing patterns lines depths dops and titles... lol! 

  I have been searching for this map for a year straight after a wyrd turn of events in the ealry eve of interwebbing i happened acrossed this treasure trove! enjoy im making this a tab on GoogleQween home page!



NEXT i hate hate hate HATE LOATH ENTIRELY THIS WHOLE OLD MAC NEW FLASH PLAYER BUT opps sorry tooo lazy to linger on LOUD LETTERS! continuing on- no one seems to care or have a solution ... COME on techno geeksters where is your groove. I wish i had to gear to solve this delema but due to dire situation and a DRAMATIC change in EVERYTHING i have succommed to a "google-machine"  . nice. sweet. simple. sweet mother of all things good it has to happen!

unfortunately i have not the attention span to find the first of where i last left off so, sorry to leave you left with wanting (suesical)

omg omg omg they updated....... =p

Firmness of purpose

never have i ever known a thing to last forever, except these haunting hopes i have honed here however
I write them then "like" them its my only kinda voice... i try... but it doesn't mean i have any choice
Like a ghost at most to my obvi- blogged obsession I'm only half a host- I'm content too
It's a confession...
I would boast but I'm not boastful, i fear im much much too hopeful- and notable a won't pull thru. but push and pull aren't my role dude.

If it's not your calling It becomes your ambition defying fate in a cataclysm. The firmness of purpose has become my prison.
the bars are blinding on the back of my eyelids.. bars of notes when i blink go into hiding and i go into silence

The firmness of my person is the trails of the gypsies, it can be tracked back it just a bit tricky
You can track me down and you can even trap me. you can't make me perform or become entrancing.
It's so happens- its a rather rare privilege i'd  rather you not try to rely on a mental image.
only i know what i envisioned to mind the music in myself- has become my mission

If it's not your calling It becomes your ambition defying fate in a cataclysm. The firmness of purpose has become my prison.
the bars are blinding on the back of my eyelids.. bars of notes that when i blink go into hiding and i hide in the quiet

secretly i seek out some of the silence, then in my head that "Voice" comes back with a violence
just shouting the reminders of how i was con into compliance cautiously i keep hiding, my fear i keep on fighting, one day I'll stop abiding At least i keep on trying. I WONT LET DOWN until dreams i stop DENYing

If it's not your calling It becomes your ambition defying fate in a cataclysm. The firmness of purpose has become my prison. the bars are blinding on the back of my eyelids.. bars of notes when i blink go into hiding and i go into silence

Random babbles

there's a lock box inside you and you get to chose if any/all the real shit really gets used. Reluctantcies redily rely on reuse. confuse yourself into playing on your own facking. Are those miracles or just music your making. I beg that one day this disillusion disappears. not knowing the nussence with blessed beers and mirrors. what if they take it unclear? For sake it. undear. My, what can I say to make this life endeared? To not live in fear of the forcoming future. 

Bullshit Called

I'm pushed over until I put out
can't get up the guts to say "get out"
decided I'm done digging out
that fictional friend thought I knew
from underneath your freak filled screws

When our lips met I'd regret
as mental headlights met my mind
Suddenly searching for a not so suddle side line
{salvasion from this sight I never find}
look anywhere but into evasive eyes
you know what and why disguised; you buy time in your despise

Self persuased toward a psuedo-stability
but lying to yourself won't purvey the possiblity
possibly thyis was provided by my own insecurity...
more likely I lied for you lust-sicken personailty
you say: my minifestation in hesitation I think it's years of self denying
so read between my lies & start believing your own eyes
take bake those self loathing sulk-loaded replies
that kept me inept swept under your thumb
If this never started I should have to announce I'm done
I guess I'll press on, unimpressed, where I begun

Somewhat silly today

Katita... a silly spanglish senorita. finding her a freaker by the speaker. Confused? well wait till you meet her. It's amusing how confusing this kat really gets. Thats assuming your trying to them puzzle peices fit!

YOUR GAME, YOUR RULES

Your game, your rules. Ain't my ruling to be doing any dueling. How am i to describe a game i don't know the rules too? Are you gonna keep me benched or put me on the floor, fool? It's this round is between no one but you and you. What am I to do? Wait... watch... effortlessly? While you go around confessing and they'll go on just guessing I made a clingy mess of things? Please could you put reluctances's to rest. You guided me to rhyme and reason, that at best 


i so want to share the changing on the seasons, as in what you "sees in" me. Never was i meant for your team yet, your training was still straining on the hobby turned to habit. Found a habit of just rapping. Stringing these lines are fine: time passin... but at the pace I'll fly by laughing. close to that stage it ain't enough. Cuz it is the closest I've came to finding love. In the words, in the lines, in the notes, in the chords... every sound you make:  my salvation is restored.


Funny what still gets to me/ is that your the epitome/ of anything i aspire to be. From this face painted mirror/ I wish I wouldn't feel that fear of a superficial superior. It's okay It should just be ignored.forlorn! 


I don't mean to be mean but it seemed as my means where your one excuse to keep me off the team. 
So now i got to choose between calling a truce or in waiting for what's left of me to prove.


Does it bring you pain or perhaps pleasure, that in my brain I've taken every measure
to not be not even mildly excited. I tried desperately to hide it. But why and try to deny if you all have me so distinctly defined? 
Maybe when you find your wealth and you find a well track, you might take a moment to fondly look back on me merely just a memory. really looking to be redemptory. In compassion did she lack? No, just common sense. hence lesson that I'm retesting of the games that I'm messing in. 


New to the rules? Well, the players are your weapons. In this game of rap it's not your call, your just the ball and it's up to your friend and your fans to make that call on whether or not you'll reach your goal. I guess, when the ball was in my court i came up a bit too short. Carelessly despite my agility I let it slip from me. But I'm not selfish see. I'll stand where i am with my hand hiding the sun ray. Pleased to be passed as I see everyone else play. I'm sold and I'm set willing to wage a bet; that one of these days ball will find that net.

Not Buy-in nor Sell-out

This is the most terrifying thing i have ever written none the less shared.... 

Also, i hate having to push/publish these things... 

they are the most personal bits of rubbish i "own" 

but if not here i will only loose them...

Not Buy-in nor Not Sell-out

I'm kindly cold hearted, Is that how all this started? Where were innocence and I parted?

Dimly aware of my own distant air. My anti-social Affairs are w/ absolutely no one.

pre-preparing all my fun, I'm afraid of what makes me young.

From the world, I'm still hiding all I've done. 

7 years old: yet he still stole my sole and so very much of my sanity. Vaguely maybe might have added to my vanity. YES! A desk! That is me @ my best. With a pen I joke and I jest. I'm but merely blest all while I poke fun @ my feeling due to his awful dealings. 

Between these lines in my mind i find a time... where Mother's little Candid Concubine

Was wired entirely and evilly entwined. My entirety never had he much defined.

but my best, my beauty, I boast He never could buy in. You may never buy-in. 
Cuz I'm not buyin it!

Now when I kiss boys my heads makes this small noise. Jerks me back, beginning at my nose. For a reason no one really knows. I try and deny when my shy shows. But below it grows eventually explodes when pried by their trying eyes. I feel the judgement thru there lies. 

They'll never be content with my contradiction. Made up of friction and a fictional depiction of a "Dad's" illegitimate un-defined reflection. That might be why inside the mirror i fear the unclear. It's never shows what I hold dear. notice how it's never in the near. 

Between these lines in my mind i find a time... where Mother's little Candid Concubine

Was wired entirely and evilly entwined. My entirety never had he much defined.

but my best, my beauty, I boast He never could buy in. You may never buy-in. 

Cuz I'm not buyin it!

If I was well (and well I'm not) would I be eager to sell all that I got. He once brought us/bought us heaven. Yet, I'd never want to wish him hell (in fact I wish well). There's still no way to tell of the silent cells I dwell. No dollar amount can amount to how much I'm bound to- It affects me still those moments around you.

You once seized me but that's no more. I awake askew tangled about on the floor. Now my body it substitutes for the lack of your abuse. Now I don't get to choose.   A nearly new voice is in use as a disabuse for all that you have put me thru. Fostered in Hospital suits, scrutinized by strangers all in white suits. My diagnosis is a mind's mute and a bliss to the blinding of my life's truth

Its what you feel.

there's always a light at the end of the tunnel
not if your digging a hole
how can i feel so empty
if there is part of you in my soul
if my shovel was a tad bit sleeker
if I could shove just a little bit deeper


thats what happens when you move a mountain
and thats what i've been countin-
on and your moving to slow or moving to fast
I dont want something that cant last
but what do i know and what do i show? 
and how bout how i bask and never do i  really ask


but i think about you
expectually in my booze but how can i choose
between time and being true
whats thru is thru
who is news is news
Im just trying not to loose
or trying to confuse
attempting not to loose you thru these cues and dues 


....but the more i amend myself the more my world worsens....




"It makes me feel better than hitting my head with a shoe
i keep rolling the dice and idk why i loose
everything and its nothing it's broke
i put down everything and get nothing im broke...

this aint russian rullete
this is life and its A JOKE
 (something about sexy and dirty) "


-PRESTON

if you can't say something nice

 should i be nice should i be candid Should i say it how i planned it?

should i keep on with this habbit of hard bars with pointed darts

should i be sweet or should i be cunning if i get done with all this duming 

i could really be quite stunning if i stop all this ruthless running

why not say it if its mean if your reading in between 

the things i say not what i mean you could be keen
and shake off what you've seen, your angry your a fiend
for the make believe world your reality left unfurled

say it nice pay the price roll some dice and loose
you loser why don't you choose if u say u have your blues
are not your just yellow your a coward like othello
your just jealous and insecure and my words you hate are ones too pure
and all your hate is just a lure

If you don't have nothing nice say... but i didn't say it
i spray it... play it... pray with it
i wouldn't say them to your face i wont put you in your place
and just in case you think I'm scared your just unprepared
to have all your self completely barred
if i cared none of these words would not be dared

thru??

you say that im your only. you say that your just soley trying to just do you.
i can't figure you words out but to me your actions seem so true
i feel it when you hold, and you dont try to control me
and you always drag me back when i say im thru
but the people around me say your a mental screw
never to me i always go to you...

2007poems:??

falling thru the hole... the one that i can't see
seeing what can't possibly be me
No monsters, No blood, a horror just the same
to fall asleep tonight means I play this game
reliving the moment I knew not to love
seeing what all them see, all them up above
the angels, those eyes, the colors, the spite
if you only knew what i saw tonight
the demons, the blood, the fear i know now
i wish i could show you, i just don't know how

2007poems: MEMORIES

Memmories kreep and burn my skin
memmories from deep down within
thier haunting streak like a ghost
it takes me where i hate the most
they burn and hurt and scrotch my soul
they are why I'll never seem whole
for seconds I appear happy and alive
but it disappears and i take that dive
"hush" says my heart to my hurt inside
"hush" find a place i can easily hide
but the memories haunt me like a ghost
and takes me where i hate the most
so cold and dark and wrapped in pain
for happines its no easy gain
so hurt and bruised and tortured see
I wish my soul would sleep so i can be
but for now i have to deal these memories out!

DAMN I WAS AN EMO KID!!!!!!!!!!

yesterday... (don't like it yet)

back in the attic of your addicted mind
there is a place so pure i want to find
but i could never call it mine, it was always her day
not a place for me to stay
no room for me to play
but honestly i'd pay to go back with you
into yesterday

in my memory love has frayed
and like the thread it fades away
landing on any island loves cast away
my hide away is in your today
love was such a easy thing to say
now i see it all as grey

counting on you seems to cliche
but tomorrow it will be through
and your crutch went astray
anyway you were my pathway
i'd be thinking of us and yesterday

JOURNALISM AT ITS BEST!!!!!!!

Cynthia_Plaster_Caster


GO TO THIS SITE ITS AMAZING!!!!!