Love Left to Last

 

Thoughts that taunt the 

nights we'd touch (in) mid dark...

Seriously seeking (while he would be spleeping) 

for something seemed a spark, Or rather

a rare flicker? Sex should simply

be simpler!

Impulse Induced: Indulgance

in an instant. Yet still I insist:

"could it be this quick?"

Start: Entrance/ In trance...

Again I'm in this dance.

Surely secured sustenance;

Gone away to this Lonliness.

Now all I have is Hope of a chance.

"Is this?"...oops... gone in a glance.

This second, your presense is 

present; Readily it's replaced

for a place in my past (as good

as steady) Please, teddy, a bit

longer. A tad stronger...

Learning a Love left to Last!

Notes: hill Billy Bo, Endless Pursuit, Hopheads and Rehab @ The Rock

key:

my thought

peoples talk 

personal shit 

Hill billy bo:
" The great great grandfather of Hill billy Bo & the great great grandmother of rehab is both Danielle Boone" i just realized this doesn't make any sense! They had a damn different sound than what i had expected. When i asked for a second or even third opinion i was told South West Rock, Crossover and other. I consider them hardcore souls with country lives. 
Outside i talked to Bo about if i had the chance to see Rehab for five seconds what i would say. It wasn't that thrilling of a conversation but the chit chat afterward was bomb.


Endless Pursuit:
At first glance you might have assumed them Ska, at second glance you'd think your assumptions where correct and at third glance you would take it all in and realize this band was a bit "crossover" (as my "date" would like to say). On the spectrum i believe they would fall closer to punk. I don't like Ska much but i enjoyed them. They had plastic see-thru guard things around two mic stands. Which included two sticky notes : 
"LIKE US..." 
"on Facebook" (damn Facebook is taking over the world). 


HopHeads:
Going of the pre conceived notion that Bryan Tuckers solo stuff i had seen about a week before at the breakfast club would be anything like his band's stuff, my thoughts exactly where "they have to be good". My assumption wasn't wrong but it was right either. They sounded nothing like Bryan's own individual stuff. Country-Punk at its best... That's of course if i have ever known any (and maybe barely skimming rock a billy) ! The one sound i picked out the cumulation of sound was the bassists' guitar like sound and how well he and the guitarist's sound was so well matched (it was almost hard to pick out.... thank god i was less than a foot away)
The Hopheads had a tight "music" bond which is distinguishable from the normal "family like" bond (cuz even family can sound horrible). They connected thru their music without trying to hard to do so.
Bryan was yet again wearing what i now know to be his "signature" hat (that i can recognize from a mile away). Even though i kept hearing their name (i have a lot of Ska loving Friends) I didn't expect them to be so hoppy.
They told this story: This is about how Yuma got it's name. back in the gun slinging, shoot up days. Two men are sitting in a pub. One says "It looks like this town is gonna stick around for a while, what should we name it". The other man says "Who ever dies first today we'll use their last words" So at high noon someone got shot and his last words were "You ma-"!


Rehab:
in between bands i went outside for fresh air and to find my fellow drunkards. THANK THE SKY BOSS for FROG's TIP OFF because he pointed to the group of people i just pasted (with absolutely no hint of interest) and told me it was rehab. I talked to them long enough to insult them and ask a few questions. I hope i made amends but i'm not promising anything. You see i've never spoke with someone with a deep georgia accent and i didn't believe it was real (THANK YOU ANY ASSHOLE OUT THERE THAT HAS FUCK WITH THIS NEW GIRL... i blame you for my untrusting behavior).
*have all of you stayed sober since together?
  "Some have some haven't"
*is that the truth? (let's just add some more insult Kat)
"Always, why would i lie?" 
*What do u think of tucson?
"The UofA is a crazy university, especially those cheerleaders"(this made me laugh and say bye) 
They started off with an acoustic set. It's was like going to church in a cathedral. Looking up and hearing this angelic sound while looking around and realizing we (the people) all had this deep connection to something more than just ourselves. They where the preachers and we where their congregations.... can i get an amen??
For their real Rehab set i was standing next to Kira who was wearing a shirt which read "I ♥ Rehab" i found this both amusing and ironic. You should have seen the shine in their eyes as they saw Rehab play. Like children on Xmas morning looking at their beautiful present under the tree. The stage rumbled with this bass that could kill a small animal, so i kept my hand on stage just to gauge. i couldn't feel my hand after awhile. One song in particular was based off a Billy Carlson song "beer drinking song" and they played their version. Eventually, even though the show rocked, the bass flooded my senses and i had to flee for a not so "moving" performance. ( i wish i brought my ear plugs). Nearing the end fans where singing along to every word and calling out requests ( and im not talking one song over and over: That's just annoying! There where at least 5 different distinct song titles).






FYI The magical part about this show is it's almost a year since i have been off drugs. While i was in my own personal rehab i was listening to rehab. This show kinda was my present to myself for how strong i have been during this whole thing and am still being. Also the coincidences that happened in the days before this show made me seek out a friend i was too embarrassed to find before. I really want to say thank you to anyone that has been here for me and helped me stay strong. THANK YOU i couldn't have done it without you guys. Now if only i could these damn rumors to go away =]

lost poem=lost cause

we're only young once, twice, thrice times; thats our charms
wearing our emotions on our emotions on our arms
you think we havent the brains-
i'll let you think it. take no blames
going along following: me thinks it

what love from above or below
what love when hate we all show
what kindness; when blindness did find us
and not seeing is all we know

we are you once, twice and again
time holds nothing against our sin
where to start when your at the end
think of unbroken rules: how they can bend
not today but maybe tomorrow well send
for everyone's hearts together to blend

THIS ONE SEEMS EVIL TO PUT ONLINE... but i might be a lil evil ^o.o^

Katrina,
   your my motivation towards an actually deicent life. We tried at first but mercy cried. I got put away, and you made your dash, but I am out now tryin to gather the trash. Im set up now to get you back. and take care of you in the spots that i lacked. feed, clothe you. a roof over your head. I promise this time ill do my best, no bullshit just crazy old kat -n- matt. Only this time we aint pulling no crazy shit out this hat. our relationship will thrive in magical ways. Feeling satisfied that we work and play. But only in moderation cause our goals will not sway. you will accomplish the most incredible things. With a solid man there cleaning your wings.....  

if only, if only

arivaca poems= gibbery mush.

from the begining i dreamt of winning but to get there i refrained from sining. took in and that sent me behind. the others left in that better line far back in my mind. i dreamt of fast forward and remembered rewind. stop. paause; thinak and listen. and maybe hit play. thrice in a while i remember those days. i was bold, a bit brilliant in all my odd ways. When introduced to the cultral haze, it turned me round on to this ethical maze. all roads i've been blazin, People's ways i've been gazin. In no place i've been stayin. With mistakes; i constantly weight in cuz i make them.

arivaca poems=Allergic to greatness....

Allergic to greatness or that's how it seems
When i get too close i get the skeevez
I cry, i moan, i beg and i pleazez
Im just too afraid to find the right reason to be just me...


When i loose my cool, when i loose my temper
It never goes out it goes back to the center
it sits & chills, rots & it festers
It boils over once a year in december


Lost and confused for all the right reasons
I say im confused because i can't count the seasons
that march it was winter
that summer was spring
but who watch over shuch trite little things


could i pick up my pants & started those poses
or do i lie along the road with the roses
chose the right choices because i could have chose them


im mearly messed up, a hypocrite
and everything else in spite of it

arivaca poems=my Mr. Mad Hatter

i've been: 

jaded, hated, a bit seperated, injurely waited, stimulated, faded, and... abely more medicated

Less is less fated,

while caged-in: meditated, removed all while underrated and over-estimated

fake it or face it: u can't contemplate shit

poke it or pork it but please u just prove this

pleasing the poor miss, for a many purpose. no money, so, hoard this.

  Oh, what?

    oh.. what a poor miss... no life with a purpose but a broken promise?

       what a bliss is this?....

They've seen: 

nothing, no nada. no mother or father. but a many brother and daughter. luke warm will get hotter

with they, them these sins: 

they dont ,o, don't matter; made merry by my Mr. Mad Hatter 

Not baker nor batter, be kind to the matter. But butter all the same. These lies are the same. The lines are the fame. This life is to blame....

been in:

No bunch but been bunched in a bit of a bunch of a thing.

arivaca poems = my turn it burns

as i sit here in tourment

my passions lay dorment

my dreams are premature

yet there affect will be sure

when the time it turns

my turn, it burns,

my heart it yearns

my words: held back just @ the lips

my future lays just beyond these finger tips

specializing in social elite

in love with everysecond of every person i meet

This love of society's noise

playing these boys like lil toys

a hopeful idea a cultural world churns

that's ignorance (please people learn)

 when the time it turns

my turn it burns

my heart it yearns

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